What Happened After
by Rosabe
Summary: The story of the Warden after the events of DAO.  Takes place in Awakening.  Romance with Nathaniel Howe and the Warden.
1. Commander of the Grey

A/N: I apologize for the changes, but my computer crapped out and I lost the version I wanted to post.

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><p>"I have nothing to say to you." The Warden said her voice hard, even though it broke her heart. She continued to pack even as she heard him enter the room.<p>

"You would leave without saying goodbye?" he asked.

He sounded as if nothing was wrong, pretending that he didn't abandon her to fight the Archdemon alone. It made her so mad, especially since she'd allowed herself to be wooed by this man. She felt the fool.

"Yes, I would." Faith snapped closing her pack, the look she gave him turned his blood to ice "I would prefer it that way. Staying in Amaranthine will be a welcome reprieve from being in such close proximity to you."

She watched his face. Looking for something, any sign of regret. There was none. He just stood there staring at her.

"What do you want from me, Alistair?" she asked, she held her hand up when he opened his mouth to speak "Forgive me, Your Majesty." The venom in her voice dug deep.

"You would do well to watch your tone, Warden-Commander." He snapped.

"Or what?" She asked, calling his bluff "You'll have me arrested? Hung for treason? It would be no worse than abandoning me to fight the Archdemon alone. "

"Abandon? You?" He asked suddenly defensive.

"Yes, you abandoned me. All of us to fight the Archdemon alone. Simply because you could not put aside your feelings and do what was right for Ferelden, for all of Thedas. "She refused to back down from him.

"You…you. Let that monster live, after all he did to us…"

"You mean what he did to you." She cut him off "You never once thought about what would happen to the rest of us when you decided to 'stop' being a Warden. You abandoned every Oath you made when you took your joining because you could not see what was best for the whole and not just you. "She swallowed watching his face "Duncan would have understood my decision and approved. You should have understood it as well. Excuse me Your Highness I have to go."

Shouldering her pack Faith moved past the stunned monarch, she never looked back. Reaching the stables she bound her pack to her horse looking down when she felt Teryn brush against her leg. Dropping her hand she pet his head roughly.

"You ready boy?" She asked. Her answer was an excited bark. She laughed as he jumped in circles waiting for her impatiently. "Alright, I'm going." She told him mounting her mare. Once free of the stables she kicked her into a cancer before the king or anyone else could stop her.

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><p>Mhairi stood when she heard hoof beats coming rapidly in the direction of their camp. She stood ready when a large black mare with a white face that looked akin to a skull slowed to a trot before her. She recognized the armor of the Warden-Commander.<p>

"Commander?" Mhairi said sheathing her sword "We weren't expecting you until morning. Forgive me."

"You are forgiven." She said jumping from the saddle "though it should be I that is apologizing to you for tromping into camp unannounced." She said as she removed her helmet. She was pretty for a Warden, not what they expected. Brilliant honey colored eyes and golden hair. Even being plastered to her head and face with sweat she looked stunning.

"One you men come take the Warden-Commander's horse." Mhairi called. Faith released her animal into their care and followed Mhairi back to their fire.

"I am Mhairi, Commander." She introduced herself, "Welcome to our camp Commander."

"Please Mhairi, call me Faith." She asked setting her helm on a stump "Last thing I want right now is more pomp and ceremony. It wearies me. It has been a long day."

"Of course…Faith." Mhairi said unsure if it was okay to address her so casually, "We have a tent ready for you."

"Thank you Mhairi. You are an angel among men." She chuckled.

Mhairi blushed at the unexpected compliment for the Commander. "This way Com…Faith."

Faith followed Mhairi through the camp to a large white tent that was set up under a group of trees. She opened the tent flap for her.

"Here you are. Are you alright?" She asked her.

"What?" Faith asked.

"It's just you look a bit pale." Mhairi commented.

"I am just tired. Been riding all day. I'll be fine after a good night's rest. "She said stepping in "Thank you Mhairi. Good night." Taking the cloth from her she shut the door.

"Good…night."

Faith dropped her pack in the corner of the ten and sat on the cot holding her head. She remained there for some time thinking. Sighing Faith stood to remove her armor and change into sleeping clothes, which consisted of a shirt that she took from a childhood friend years ago and a pair of men's trousers. Teryn jumped up on the cot and lay on top of her, as he always did when she did not feel well. He whined at her belly.

"Yes I know. It complicates things. "She sighed "But I understand Maric's decision more now."

Teryn whined and cocked his head at her.

"Not only does he despise me but it would complicate his marriage." She shook her head "I will never tell him and he will be none the wiser. It will better all around if my child grows never knowing that his father despises his mother. "

Teryn whined but otherwise didn't protest, simply lay down and went to sleep. Faith however remained awake. Her mind was heavy. She missed Nathaniel now more than ever before.

"Maker watch over us in our time of need." She whispered.

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><p>She was quiet the remainder of the long trip to Vigil's Keep. Though her color had improved a little she still looked pale and often tired. Later Mhairi learned it was because the Commander was with child, though she knew not or refused to name the father. As they approached the keep the Commander stopped.<p>

"Commander…Faith?" Mhairi asked.

"Something is wrong." Faith said drawing her sword, her horse began to paw at the ground "I know girl I feel them too?" She said patting her neck.

"Feel what?" Mhairi asked.

"Darkspawn."

"Darkspawn? Here?" Mhairi asked.

Before Faith could answer a man came running out of the gates, he was terrified and followed closely by several Darkspawn. Giving a cry Faith spurred her horse into action. They charged the group running past the terrified man and bowling over two of the creatures. Her horse reared and Mhairi thought the Commander would be unhorsed. She was not. The horse instead came stomping down, crushing the creatures into the ground. Faith fought from horseback like any well trained Chevalier, dispatching two Darkspawn before Mhairi got to her first.

"You're here. The Hero of Ferelden! You have to help them!" The man cried.

"What happened?" She asked "Where are the other Wardens?"

"I-I don't know. There was someone behind me, a mage I think. They don't have much time, those things are everywhere."

"Go get help." Faith called, dismounting "Stay out of sight." She told the horse.

"I'll go to Amaranthine." The man cried running down the road.

"I don't understand how the Darkspawn over took the keep, how can they be so organized?" Mhairi asked "This isn't a blight."

"Perhaps the Blight isn't over." Faith said "At any rate we don't have time to talk."

"Right Commander, let's teach these bastards a lesson."

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><p>Faith stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the mage throwing fire at the Darkspawn. Though it was more the burning Hurlock and the smell of burning flesh that stopped her than the mage. He wiped his hands off as he turned, he pulled up short seeing them there.<p>

"Errr…I didn't do it." He started "though don't get me wrong I'm not all broken up about their deaths. Biff made the funniest gurgle when he went down. "He finished chuckling.

Faith looked past him. "You killed all these Darkspawn?"

"Yeah…well they helped a little, before they died. Tragic." He said, "You my dear lady may call me Anders. I am a mage and sadly a wanted apostate."

"An apostate? In Vigil's keep?" Mhairi asked.

"You weren't here when we arrived. I surely would have remembered a lovely lady such as yourself." Mhairi only stared at him "well we were stopping for a quick rest before returning to the circle. And now they are all dead." He turned to face the commander "I suppose I could help you kill Darkspawn or you could let me go. "

Faith sighed. "Go then." She said moving past him further into the keep, "I'll tell them you died."

Mhairi followed her watching him until they were out of sight. "Are you sure you want to leave him free?" she asked.

"Apostates are not the concern of Grey Warden's." Faith answered "Do well to remember that. Becoming one of us changes everything. We do what we must to win. Anything."


	2. Nathaniel Howe

"Give me a moment to talk to the prisoner."

"Yes, Commander. I will go tell the Seneschal that you are deciding to do with him. " she watched the guard leave.

Of all the things she was expecting to see, this was not one of them. She watched him stand in front of her stunned. He started talking but she was too stunned to hear what exactly his said.

"Well can't I even see the man that killed my father!" he spat.

She clean forgot she'd been wearing her helmet or that Arl Howe was he was his father. She slowly removed her helm setting it on the bench. "…Nathaniel…I…" she began.

"You!" he snapped realizing just who she was "You're the Warden?" he asked "You killed my father?"

"He left me little choice. He slaughtered my family and was torturing citizen's of Ferelden for his own benefit." She replied "I'm so sorry."

"NO!" he yelled lunging at her. She didn't stop him when he grabbed her by the collar and slammed her into the bars of his cell. He stood there holding her nearly three inches off the ground even in plate mail armor. He couldn't bring himself to hurt her. He still loved her. "How could you?" he asked turning away from her.

"If it could have been avoided I would have. It was him or me." Faith answered.

"Look, I'm sorry about what happened to your family. I hear, it was horrible. The entire war was. But what my father did shouldn't harm my entire family."

"I know. I never wanted this to happen to your family." She paused "I have little to offer you. I can imagine why you came back here."

He turned and gazed at her. "I came here to kill the Warden, you," he took a deep breath "but all I want is some of my families things."

She nodded. "I'll have the guard give your families effects and you are free to go."

Retrieving her helm she turned to leave. She hit by a sudden wave of dizziness. She tried to grab the bars but missed and grasped nothing but air. She would have fallen if Nathaniel not been there.

"Faith!" he called catching her, he lowered her gently to the floor. "Guard!" he yelled, "Guard!"

"What did you do to her?" he asked angrily drawing his sword.

"Nothing. I'm not armed." He snapped "She fainted. I think she's ill."

The guard knelt by her side. "She's not ill, she's with child. I should have you whipped for doing this."

It was like punch to the guts. She was what? With child? That was what the guard said. He was too stunned to respond when the guard cold cocked him with his pummel. When he woke he was still in his cell, alone in the dark.

So many surprises waited for him when he returned from the Free Marches. He didn't think he could be any more astounded but he was. He was always knew there was the chance she would move on but he never really expected to see her again to see it. He whose child it was.

"It doesn't matter Nathaniel." He said to himself, "It's not yours and that's all there is to it."

It wasn't long after that he heard the guard returning. Unlocking the door he tossed a pack at him.

"Get up. The Commander has commanded we let you go with your families things. " the guard said "though I think he deserve the rope myself."

"Is she alright?" he asked shouldering the pack.

"Not that its any of your business, but yes she's resting fine." He said "hurry up. Your things are in that chest."

* * *

><p>Faith felt the sir pressure change in her room. Pretending to still be sleeping and roll over she grasped the hilt of the dagger she kept under her pillow. Moving quickly she lunged to strike. Nathaniel caught her wrists and slammed them into the solid wood headboard hard enough that the force of the blow caused her hands to go numb and she dropped the blade.<p>

"Faith! I'm sorry!" he whispered harshly.

She was confused by the pain in her wrist and the sudden feeling of someone massaging it. It took her eyes a moment to adjust to the light and see who it was in her room.

"Nathaniel?" she asked. For a split second she was afraid he was there to kill her.

"I'm sorry." He said again "it was instinct. Is your hand okay?"

"It hurts but I can still use it." She replied "What are you still doing here? I thought you'd have left."

"I couldn't leave without making sure you were all right, and they wouldn't let me see you." He said sitting next to her. He could see the visible bump on her now, thought her armor did a good job of hiding it.

"I am fine." She answered, though she couldn't look him in the eyes and sat leaning against the hard wood headboard rubbing her wrist.

"Where is your…" he began.

"Husband?" she finished.

"yes, that."

"I don't have one. My currently condition was the product of a moment of weakness the ended in betrayal. " she told him.

"What?" he asked, he was confused and relieved. "Does he not care?"

"He does not know and I prefer it that way. He despises me, probably much in the way you do only it was because of someone I let live not someone I killed." She said unable to look up.

"Faith." He took her hand and kissed it "I don't hate you. If it was anyone else, I would, but not you."

"You don't hate me?" she asked sounding hopeful.

"No." he replied shaking his head, "I am angry but I don't hate you for doing what you had to survive. I just wish it didn't cost my family so much."

"Nathaniel stay then, rebuild your family honor."

"How?" he asked snorting "You think King Alistair would accept a Howe in his service?"

"Not likely. But I would."

"What?" he asked looking at her "What do you mean?"

"Stay, become a Grey Warden. Show the country that Howe's are still heroes." She said "Ferelden needs Wardens…"

He looked away from her, feeling angry and hurt. "It that only reason you want me to stay? Is to join you order?" he asked bitterly.

"No, of course not, Nathaniel." She sat up, "I need your help. I-I can't do this alone." She sounded ready to cry.

Turning to face her he could see tears barely held back. She looked like the same young girl trying not to weep when he told her he leaving to squire in the Free Marches. It must have been hard on her, all this time. Nathaniel reached out and placed his hand on her cheek, she leaned into him.

"I will stay for you." He said "from the looks of things you do need my help."

His levity made her laugh. The tears still feel from her eyes but it was more relief than anything else. He crawled over her to sit beside her on the bed. "You know this was my room."

"I know." She said laying her head on his shoulder "I have good memories here."

He chuckled. "Yes we do, don't we?"

"I look on them fondly." She said lacing her fingers with his.

"So do I." he said softly watching her lace her fingers with his.

He leaned his head back against the hard wood. His mind drifting back to happier times, the few he had of his childhood all involved her. He had hoped to marry her before he was sent off, but his father wanted her to marry his brother. It was nice to be so close to her again, to feel her hair in his hands. He still loved her, more than ever.

"I am sorry I couldn't wait for you." She said "I was so lonely and I thought I was going to die…I…"

"Shhhh." He said "I don't blame you for finding comfort with another, I have been gone almost ten years. I'm here now, if you'll have me."

When she sat up her hair had fallen over one shoulder and new tears found their way down her cheeks. He reached out and wiped them away with his thumb. She nodded not trusting her voice to work. Closing the distance between them she kissed him.

He sighed when he felt her lips press against his, never had a woman's touch felt as good as hers did now. He'd not squander the chance he'd been given this time. Embracing her he pulled her as close as her belly would allow, allowing himself to lay back on her bed. He kissed her more passionately this time, selfishly claiming her tongue as his own.

They spent the majority of the evening reacquainting themselves to each other's bodies. He had to keep himself in check as to not let it end too quickly. Though it didn't last as long as he would have wished Nathaniel clutched the coverlet when the wash of euphoria flooded over him.


	3. Reunited

Faith felt the sir pressure change in her room. Pretending to still be sleeping and roll over she grasped the hilt of the dagger she kept under her pillow. Moving quickly she lunged to strike. Nathaniel caught her wrists and slammed them into the solid wood headboard hard enough that the force of the blow caused her hands to go numb and she dropped the blade.

"Faith! I'm sorry!" He whispered harshly.

She was confused by the pain in her wrist and the sudden feeling of someone massaging it. It took her eyes a moment to adjust to the light and see who it was in her room.

"Nathaniel?" she asked. For a split second she was afraid he was there to kill her.

"I'm sorry." He said again "it was instinct. Is your hand okay?"

"It hurts but I can still use it." She replied "What are you still doing here? I thought you'd have left."

"I couldn't leave without making sure you were all right, and they wouldn't let me see you." He said sitting next to her. He could see the visible bump on her now, thought her armor did a good job of hiding it.

"I am fine." She answered, though she couldn't look him in the eyes and sat leaning against the hard wood headboard rubbing her wrist.

"Where is your…" he began.

"Husband?" she finished.

"Yes, that."

"I don't have one. My currently condition was the product of a moment of weakness the ended in betrayal. "She told him.

"What?" he asked, he was confused and relieved. "Does he not care?"

"He does not know and I prefer it that way. He despises me, probably much in the way you do only it was because of someone I let live not someone I killed." She said unable to look up.

"Faith." He took her hand and kissed it "I don't hate you. If it was anyone else, I would, but not you."

"You don't hate me?" she asked sounding hopeful.

"No." he replied shaking his head, "I am angry but I don't hate you for doing what you had to survive. I just wish it didn't cost my family so much."

"Nathaniel stay then, rebuild your family honor."

"How?" he asked snorting "You think King Alistair would accept a Howe in his service?"

"Not likely. But I would."

"What?" he asked looking at her "What do you mean?"

"Stay, become a Grey Warden. Show the country that Howe's are still heroes." She said "Ferelden needs Wardens…"

He looked away from her, feeling angry and hurt. "It that only reason you want me to stay? Is to join you order?" he asked bitterly.

"No, of course not, Nathaniel." She sat up, "I need your help. I-I can't do this alone." She sounded ready to cry.

Turning to face her he could see tears barely held back. She looked like the same young girl trying not to weep when he told her he leaving to squire in the Free Marches. It must have been hard on her, all this time. Nathaniel reached out and placed his hand on her cheek, she leaned into him.

"I will stay for you." He said "from the looks of things you do need my help."

His levity made her laugh. The tears still feel from her eyes but it was more relief than anything else. He crawled over her to sit beside her on the bed. "You know this was my room."

"I know." She said laying her head on his shoulder "I have good memories here."

He chuckled. "Yes we do, don't we?"

"I look on them fondly." She said lacing her fingers with his.

"So do I." he said softly watching her lace her fingers with his.

He leaned his head back against the hard wood. His mind drifting back to happier times, the few he had of his childhood all involved her. He had hoped to marry her before he was sent off, but his father wanted her to marry his brother. It was nice to be so close to her again, to feel her hair in his hands. He still loved her, more than ever.

"I am sorry I couldn't wait for you." She said "I was so lonely and I thought I was going to die…I…"

"Shhhh." He said "I don't blame you for finding comfort with another; I have been gone almost ten years. I'm here now, if you'll have me."

When she sat up her hair had fallen over one shoulder and new tears found their way down her cheeks. He reached out and wiped them away with his thumb. She nodded not trusting her voice to work. Closing the distance between them she kissed him.

He sighed when he felt her lips press against his, never had a woman's touch felt as good as hers did now. He'd not squander the chance he'd been given this time. Embracing her he pulled her as close as her belly would allow, allowing himself to lay back on her bed. He kissed her more passionately this time, selfishly claiming her tongue as his own.

They spent the majority of the evening reacquainting themselves to each other's bodies. He had to keep himself in check as to not let it end too quickly. Though it didn't last as long as he would have wished Nathaniel clutched the coverlet when the wash of euphoria flooded over him.

"I love you." She said caressing his cheek as he lay beside her.

He pulled her close to him, kissing her temple. "I love you too." He said into her hair, but he knew she heard him.


	4. And He Came Back

"…I love you." Was the last thing she heard. Nathaniel's voice fading into the dark, then her eyes fluttered open. She lay there in the darkness for some time until the pressure for her to urinate was too pressing.

"A dream…" she whispered out loud "…of course girl it's always a dream." She scolded herself covering her eyes with her hands and sighing heavily. Swinging her legs off the edge of her bed she righted herself slowly, remnants of her dreams still haunting her thoughts. "Oh snap out of it. It's not like you can just pick up where you left off after ten years especially after killing his father."

Sighing again she pushed herself off the bed stretching her back upon standing. The shirt she wore to bed was beginning to pull tight around her and it was already two sizes too big for her. Soon she would not be able to wear it if she got much bigger. Anders told her she would most likely not get any larger unless she had twins, but he had said it was unlikely.

They had held there service for Mhairi that day. It was small, smaller than she would have liked but given present circumstances she understood why. They had also told her that they had sent Nathaniel on his way with his family's things and that he shouldn't be bothering them again. She sighed again, she was doing a lot that lately. Sighing that is.

She pinned her hair on her head to cool off the back of her neck before heading out of her room towards the kitchens. Normally the cold stone floors would have been unpleasant but in her current state she was often over warm and cool stone was a welcome change. Resting one hand on her belly as she made her way into the larder she could feel him waking.

"What shall we have?" She asked tapping her fingers on the fabric of her night shirt. "Left over stew?" she sniffed the pot "smells like lamb." The smell made her nose crinkle and her stomach churn. "Or not." She put the lid back on the pot.

She heard movement behind her. Purely on instinct she grabbed one of the kitchen knives and flung it in the direction of the movement. There was a loud screech from the rat as the knife skewered it. The figure that nearly bolted kept perfectly still as she had not detected him and only the rat. He watched her frown and crouch picking up the knife, rat and all. She sighed again.

"Rats?" she asked no one "I suppose I should get this place a mouser." She pulled the rat off and threw it into one of the waste bins "Mabari." She shook her head "great guard dog's not so great pest control beasts."

Slipping further into the kitchen unnoticed he found a nice spot near the larder where the pots where hanging to hide. He didn't know why he came back or why he wasn't making himself known. What did he want here? Was it her? He wondered to himself. She'd grown quickly in the few weeks he'd been gone. He recognized the shirt she was wearing as the one he gave her before leaving, now tight on her. He could see the outline of her belly and breasts pushing through the fabric. It was uncomfortably arousing, which surprised him after so long. He thought he'd moved past her but here he was still enraptured with her. He felt the bite of cold steel against his throat. He inhaled sharply, his whole body tense. This he had not been expecting.

"You should not be moving, yes?" her voice was distinctly Orlesian.

He raised his arms palms up. He didn't move until she pushed him forward, she had a very sharp blade at his throat. "You are good." He said.

"As I should be." She said stepping out of the shadows "Faith it would seem we have more than just rats running about."

"Leliana?" she asked turning around her eyes going wide when she saw her prisoner "Nathaniel?"

"Evening, Faith." He said hoarsely.

"No know his one, yes?" she asked looking at the Warden.

"Y-Yes I do. He's a friend. "

"Oh." She replied releasing Nathaniel and sheathing her blade "You should be more observant my friend. I would not want something bad happening to you."

"Yes, thank you Leliana." She said to the retreating bard. She watched her leave before her gaze went back to him.

"I had no idea you had such talented friends." He said rubbing his neck "Orlesian even."

"Leliana is a treasured friend. She helped me defeat the Archdemon. I trust her with my life. She arrived just after you were released. Speaking of which…" she looked at him "why are you here? You have your family's things. I thought you would have been long from this time, unless you've decided to kill me after all."

"No. "He shook his head "I could not kill you, not before and not now. Even if I were capable of such a thing I would not kill a pregnant woman. That would make me little better than my father it would seem."

"What now?" she asked.

He sighed. "In truth I don't know why I'm here, only that I had to come back. You once offered me a chance to prove the Howe's still have honor. I would like that chance."

"Are you sure Nathaniel?" she asked "Once you become a Warden there is no turning back."

"It's the least I can do. I have a big mess to clean up."

She smiled at him. That he wasn't expecting. _Don't be happy._ He thought, _I don't deserve your happiness._ He could never resist her smiles or tears, which ever came.

"I am glad to have you here." She told him "I…I took your room. I can have my things moved in the morning so you can have it back." Having lost her appetite she turned to leave the kitchen.

"No." he said "you stay there. I won't displace you. I will take my brothers room. I'll see you in the morning, Commander." Now he turned to leave, she didn't stop him.

"Good night…" she said watching him leave.


End file.
